Microwaved oatmeal

I can hear my long-term readers groaning from here. “Microwaved oatmeal is probably the easiest breakfast food known to man! How on earth could Julie have possibly screwed this one up?”

But, you see, that’s why I’m special. I mean, anyone can have their soufflé collapse, but it takes a special sort of skill to destroy microwaved oatmeal.

The directions read: empty contents of packet into microwave-safe bowl. Ad 2/3 cups water. Microwave on high for 1-2 minutes. Stir. Eat.

I did all that. Put it in the microwave for 1.5 minutes, figuring I’d take the average. Completely forgot that my microwave is at the “super-powerful, will-roast-birds-a-mile-distant” range.

Came back to discover that my oatmeal had exploded and there was more outside the bowl than inside. On the upside, I was smart and used a cover. On the downside, my breakfast was much diminished (and very firm) by the time I finished cleaning everything up and got to, y’know, eat it.

Now go, and be grateful for whatever small cooking talents you have. They’ve gotta be better than mine.

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